I know envy and jealousy are considered ugly emotions.

But when I read writing that soars – even while it still somehow carries the blood and bruising and shit-reality of the physical world –  well, in those moments, I am rendered weak and green and envious.

I covet in a bad (You are a Sinner!!!)  way. The coveting combines with my waning estrogen to also produce my worst bad hair days. Is it the envy that weakens and flattens my hair? Does jealousy make one’s face break out?

The worst part is that I haven’t even read her book yet.  I just found out what everyone else apparently knows, that Wild by Cheryl Strayed is the hottest memoir out there.

I’ve just ordered it from oh-so-fabulous Bev at Talewind Books but meanwhile I checked out Ms. Strayed’s site and discovered that she has been revealed to be the Dear Sugar columnist.

Let it be known that Dear Sugar is my all-time favourite advice column. It is like no other. I have never read a Dear Sugar column that I didn’t stand up and salute or fall down writhing with the aforementioned envy at her fabulous no-nonsense voice that is also loving and wise and kick-ass funny.

This must be what it must have felt like for some piano-playing kid back in the day…some kid that thought he might be doing alright…until he heard Beethoven.

I know I’m supposed to feel inspired by good writing. I often am.

But first I have to wash my face, go for a walk and wait until the green bleeds out of my veins.