This morning my phone started pinging and wouldn’t quit. I was receiving tons of Twitter messages telling me that I was sending out messages that said, “Have you seen this nasty rumour/blog about you?”  This message of mine was accompanied by a link to the purported nasty rumour. Luckily, the link didn’t actually open to anything.

It seems I was also sending out tweets that said “Try this new fast weight loss plan and detox!”

The good news is that most people know me and understand that I would never send out a horrible message about rumours, nasty or otherwise, and that any diet I might recommend would involve lots of dark  chocolate.

I’ve now changed my Twitter password and reported the spam, but cannot send out any messages to all the nice people that warned me of what’s going on because a message comes from Twitter telling me I’ve exceeded my message quota. Well, hello??

I am utterly flummoxed as to why people do this. What possible satisfaction is derived from this kind of annonymous attack? I know it’s not personal at all, because I’ve been on the receiving end of these same kinds of messages when other people’s accounts have been hacked. In fact, I think I would  understand it better if it was personal.

But now I would like to get personal;

Dear Twitter-Hacker-Jerkface,

May a pox be upon thee. May you be covered in boils and other strange and violent rashy eruptions. May your guts liquefy in hot and twisted violence and your toes continually cramp. May your hair fall out in nasty clumps and your teeth wobble and loosen in your jaw. May waves of nausea accompany your every halistotic breath. And most of all, I hope your fingers twist into contortions that prevent you from ever tapping another key on a laptop or phone.

Yours truly,

Colleen Friesen

PS Leave me alone.