“We plan, God laughs.” – Yiddish proverb
Remember how, if you kept repeating the same pattern, Etch-A-Sketch would eventually leave ghostly lines on the screen? Or how, early in the computer/internet world, your computer screen would have a shadowy imprint of whatever had been on your screen the longest?
I’m thinking that our GPS might start doing the same thing.
We have tracked and squiggled and gone to-and-fro, back-and-forth, hither-and-yon and all over the Western edge of North America: British Columbia, Washington, Oregon, the skinny top bit of Idaho, Montana, Alberta, Saskatchewan. We’ve traveled around and around the Pacific Northwest and now here I am…happily typing away in Bishop’s Books And Cafe in the little town of Invermere, British Columbia in the South East corner of BC. There’s wonderful blues playing in the background, Fargo the store’s border collie is lying by the bookshelves and the owner is ticking away at his own laptop. I have found another wonderful place…
It seems our trip has evolved into a bit of a hot springs tour.
Yesterday, was Lussier Springs in White Swan Provincial Park, the day before was Radium Hot Springs (where, back in the day, they would extoll the wonders of soaking in slightly radioactive water).
Today, after I pick Kevin up from his golf game, we will soak at the mineral springs of Fairmont.
Which brings me to the title of this post…that bucket list thing. As in, I don’t have one.
I’m not sure why I’m so adverse to the idea. Maybe it’s because it makes the world feel like a big check list and I’m slowly working myself free of that to-do mentality. I feel like a bucket list reduces life to a score card. It’s right up there with that quote that I love to hate, “He who dies with the most toys wins.”
Here’s the thing; one eventually kicks that big ol’ bucket. And that guy with all those toys? He’s not much of a winner if he’s dead.
None of those aforementioned provinces and states were on any bucket list. In fact, there was no list at all. There has been no real plan, other than the one that evolved as we drove along. Even this entire six-month road trip isn’t part of any particular goal.
It just is.
Instead, I like the idea of being open to what shows up. I like stumbling along and discovering stuff I didn’t know existed. I like seeing the landscape change, hearing random strangers telling their stories and our long shared silences while we watch the road unfurl.
I like staring into the fire at night, and I love tucking into our little cave bed in our pod where I sleep like I’ve never slept before.
I understand the desire for the list. I truly do. But I can honestly say that most of my very best experiences have been the unexpected ones. I have dutifully ticked off places like the Taj Mahal, Eiffel Tower, the Pyramids and many of the other usual suspects.
And yes, there’s a reason that people want to go to those places. They’re fantastic and if you can, go, please go. We should never turn down an opportunity to travel.
But I know that it is the in-between moments, the unplanned deviations, the sudden opening up to what’s around me that has been the stories that I love to think about. Those are stories that can happen just as easily around the corner from your house, down the hall of your apartment, on the way to work or talking to someone new at your coffee shop.
These moments happen if I remember to keep only one little list:
Be Curious. Be Bold. Be Kind.
It takes boldness and courage to keep your curious heart open. It takes courage to be kind in the face of all that is wrong and hard in the world. It isn’t easy to choose happiness. The media sells us all that is ugly, hateful and bleeding, continually reinforcing disaster and fear-based thinking.
I’m not suggesting we turn a blind eye to all that is wrong in the world. Au contraire, I believe it is our daily actions that make all that is right with the world.
So, please…
Hug your children. Pet a dog. Donate your time/money to any good cause. Help your neighbour. Risk friendship. Be curious about others – without judgement. Pick a new path. Be courageous at exploring new truths.
Most of all, be kind to yourself and to others.
So could we please just forget that bucket list?
Instead, let us fill our buckets with goodness, curiosity, kindness, and love…lots and lots of love.
If you enjoy these blog posts, I would really appreciate it if you would please share them in any way you can. Thanks for reading.
Another terrific post, Colleen, and I love your perspective about making the world a better place one kindness and open moment at a time. I agree with you about the media selling fear-based ugliness and distortion. It’s up to us to counter with what we know to be true – so many people are kind, the natural beauty of our world is astounding and our happiness begins with us and the viewpoints we take.
p.s. I don’t have a bucket list either…!
Wow you nailed this. I am going to print those 6 words into my being. Thank you!
Love it Mary. You definitely already live by those words ???? I love the Dalai Lama’s quote, ‘Kindness is my religion.’
Sending a big hug and much love your way, Colleen. Thank you for reminding us that the most important thing is to be present for each and every moment.
Feeling the hug and sending the love circling back to you. Thanks Shelly. I’m so glad we met♥️