“Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.” – Albert Einstein
Every once in a while I imagine a dinner party with guests from different points in time. Einstein tends to be near the top of the guest list for most of these imaginary events. I am sure that the conversations would be lively and often too deep for me to follow but one of the simpler questions I would ask him would be to find out where my energy goes.
Yesterday I woke up exhausted. It took some serious self-talk to roust myself from bed in time to meet my girlfriend for our 8:30 walk. I managed to do the exercise but it was all I could do to get through the rest of the day. Even writing my blog post yesterday was painful. Like the other writing I worked on yesterday, every sentence was an effort. Each word was wrong. I deleted, I edited, I copied and pasted and finally I just hit publish.
Reading it today, it sounds like everything else I’ve written; not too much of this or that. And yet, it was written while I was deeply drained. As well, I read over yesterday’s additions to my lablog chapter, and they’re not even that bad, yet each word was dragged out of me like pulling the toughest weeds out of the garden.
And then this morning I woke up energized, feeling strong and ready to roll. So this is my question to Einstein. What the hell happened? Why that and then this?And how can I bottle today so that I can drink it on days like yesterday?
Today I’ve raked and weeded and cleaned some of the basement. I feel no more, or no less content than I did yesterday, so it’s not like I was mired in a deep depression.
And now I sit here, laptop on my knees, alone in our quiet house but feeling like I’m vibrating in perfect sync with the spring energy around me. Sentences land on the page and remain there, with very few changes once they’re down.
E=MC2 Energy. Mass. Light. I only barely understand the equation as it’s being explained to me. Even then, I certainly can’t turn around and tell anyone else what it means. This much I know. Nothing is ever as it appears.
Dear Mr. Einstein. You are cordially invited to dinner. Please come prepared to answer a few questions. Respectfully yours, Colleen Friesen.
Colleen, I can relate. I want to feel awake and open and energized all the time. Your post makes me wonder if the up and down is simply a necessary part of the whole.
Angie, there is no doubt in my mind that our bodies are like the weather…systems roll in and roll out. I’d love sunny skies all the time but recognize that I need to be patient with whatever is going on. That being said, I still really want to know – where does it go? Where is the energy I had the day before? Does someone else get it:)
Love the closing line.
SB
Thanks Sharon…I love the surprise of having no idea where it will go, or what I’m going to write, and then to see where I end up.
Permission granted to Do Whatever.