I am sitting here and staring at this blank screen. I have pasted several different titles and started several different posts. The blogosphere advice suggests one should write these posts ahead of time and I have done that on occasion. Today? Nope. Nothing in the bank.
Instead, I am randomly seeking for something to say before I get on the ferry and begin a day that I think will be quite difficult.
I originally began writing about the benthic layer of the ocean. I had read that it is the layer between the ocean floor and the rest of the sea that remains unmoved while all is turbulent above. I read this in a Buddhist magazine that was comparing it to the deepest, quieblog part of yourself. That seemed fitting; the idea of tapping my deepest resources, staying solidly beneath the drama of the day.
But then, when I went to research the meaning beyond that essay, I found it wasn’t quite like that. It is indeed the layer between the ocean floor and the rest of the waters above & it is nutrient dense and quite measurable in its difference to everything above. But I don’t believe it is quite how I first perceived…not quite as still and unshakable as I’d thought. Maybe, it’s better? I like the idea of its nutritious thickness. Perhaps it is still worthy of tapping?
Then I started the post again. This time I started writing about the all-day dream workshop I’ll be attending this Friday. But why talk about what hasn’t yet happened?
Which, as is so often the case (whether I plan it or not) brings me back to the beginning. Why should I be expecting the day to be hard? Couldn’t it just as easily be amazing? What am I willing to bring to it that might make it something different?
Maybe it is better to tap into my own benthic layer, dream of different possibilities and remain open to all that might be.
I aspire to have a bank of posts… never happens. I was having a similar thought, about imaging my ideas springing from that place of abundance, instead of lack. Both exist, I think. It just depends on where I choose to focus my energy.
Having pre-written posts would certainly make this easier but I tend to operate under the belief that the deadline is the impetus to start the assignment 🙂
A beautiful post, I hadn’t heard of that part of the ocean. Buddhism seems so peaceful… none of the jangling I feel around other religious concepts (though, of course, Buddhism is described as a spiritual concept rather than a religious one). I will be mulling that metaphor over all day. Thanks for that.
Thanks Laurie. This idea of drawing upon a deep ocean calmness is comforting to me. And yes, Buddhism feels more accessible somehow…
Days such as this are to be remembered. Whether hard or easy. Happy or sad. They will be helpful to someone else and insightful years down the line.
I will think of you often and send you my strength and the ability to create what you need from your own wisdom for the moment.
xoKaren
Karen, you’re right. I am starting to believe we go through these things so that we can be truly empathetic when someone else has to do the same. It builds understanding and maybe it’s to help break our hearts open?