Isn’t it kind of sad that books have to be written that grant us permission to be kind to ourselves? Isn’t it even sadder that this is considered ground-breaking and contrary to ‘all that we know’?

Dr. Neff, whose book, “Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind,” is profiled in this New York Times article as the champion of this revolutionary idea that we should love ourselves. Hmmm…Wasn’t there that little Biblical quote that went something like this?  “Love thy neighbour as yourself.”

And of course, about five-hundred years before the above words were committed to papyrus, the Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta said, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

The presumption in the variations on this Golden Rule quote (that is found in every major religion and myth)  is that you have this base of self-love to start with. That, in fact, you like yourself, you really, really like yourself (sorry Sally…) I’m not talking overblown self-esteem gone bad, I’m talking about a basic belief that you are as worthy of being treated well as the next person.

Because unfortunately I know what he’s talking about…why is it so much easier to be kind to a friend than to myself?  It has taken me years to extend the same kindness to myself; something that I would assume is a given for a friend.

How many times have I entreated a sad friend to go home, have a warm bath with a nice cup of tea and take care of themselves, when I couldn’t do the same for myself? Because even when I did have those baths (and my husband can atblog to the frequency thereof) it was always with the sure knowledge that I really should be doing something more productive. So really, every one of those scent-filled shiny bubbles was filled with guilt.

The good news is that I am nicer to myself than I ever used to be and am even going so far as to tell my inner critic to please go to hell…in the sweeblog possible way 🙂

So what went so wrong that this has become necessary news?