You’ve no doubt heard these two three-word sentences before.
But lately, they have taken on a new profundity for me. This deceptively simple six-word mantra is stuck in my brain on a permanent synaptic loop. It is proving extremely useful as we schlepp out the last of our never-ending crap in this interminable downsizing. As we donate, dump, recycle, purge and edit our stuff, these words feel fresh and useful.
I’m realizing too, that this mantra is applicable to every aspect in life.
Ready for it? Here it is:
That was then. This is now.
You might be feeling a bit of a lunch bag letdown with this revelation. But perhaps you’re judging too hastily (then again, isn’t that always the case when we strap on our righteous judgey-pants??)
Let me illustrate. I pull my big zip front sweater out of the basement closet. It is full of memories. I had been sick in Lisbon. In an effort for my recovery, Kevin bundled me up and brought me to a gorgeous Portuguese seaside village. But, between recovering from the illness and the chilly wind, I needed a sweater. Enter the big old blue and white knitted sweater bought in a little shop near the square. Later, it became the sweater I wore beside the outdoor beach fires here in Sechelt. But…
That was then. This is now.
The facts are simple: Sechelt is sold. I have enough warm clothes. I am limited by space. There is no room for one more bulky item.
The sweater, like this house, is a tangible touchstone of memories; the marks on the wall as Sean grew taller and taller! the scratches on the floor from Maggie’s dotted paws, the rosemary bush that seemed like it would never grow (the one that is now a monster shrub), Cory’s old kayak skirt dangling from a nail by the door…all of it was then.
My life is now.
I find it easier to release my sweater (and all this other stuff) into the world when I can imagine them continuing to spin their own little economic function. It’s at the St. Mary’s Hospital Thrift store now. It will help raise funds for whatever the next hospital project might be. It will also be a great bargain for someone who needs to stay warm this winter. I hope that when the next person shrugs into those sleeves, they will feel the love.
Because that has been the one thing that has always been a constant. Love.
Love eases this process. When life is filled with love, then ‘the stuff’ is just stuff.
The Beatles knew.
The Beatles – All You Need is Love from gledson_adriel on Vimeo.
Hey, your downsizing is rubbing off on me. Earlier this week I donated dishes, towels, sheets, socks and Bob’s shirts, pjs, socks, jackets and pants to Christine’s friend, who lost everything in an apartment fire. This inspired me to get together bags of old clothes, coats, pants, shoes (old and practically new), purses, etc and donate it to the Harvest Project today. Donations go to help out people looking for work, so downsizing is working for me too.
That’s awesome Martha. I just looked up Harvest Project…what a great organization.
Watch out…this whole downsizing thing gets pretty addictive!
Thank you for sharing this Colleen. I’m not sure how you do it, but your words always show up on my computer screen just when I need them. Uncanny. A virtual tap on the shoulder that says “Yea, I get you. It’s going to be okay.” As we begin our process of moving from “then” to “now,” I will keep these words close to my heart. Thank you.
Thanks for writing Gwen. We knew we were simpatico when we first met, so this makes perfect cybersense to moi.
I write these things mostly as a pep talk/realization to myself in the hopes that it’ll really stick. It’s kind of my own personal outing, that public declaration thing…it forces me to walk the talk.
Love your mantra Colleen. Think I’ll adopt it as my own. with credits of course. 🙂
Thanks.
Liz
Hey Liz, I don’t think I can take any credit for it. I’m sure it’s a bumper sticker somewhere! Glad you can use it.
All your wisdom is adding up. You may be reincarnated as a Clutter Consultant. ‘That was then, this is now’ is a great way to come to terms with difficult decisions. Sorry about the bittersweetness of the sweater. A beautiful story.
Ah Elinor…I’m not feeling particularly wise but I do find my new mantra quite applicable to so many things in my life. It works in so many situations.
Glad you liked the story about my sweater. That’s another realization I’ve had in this process…I can have the memory without having to actually have the ‘thing’ that evokes the remembrance.