Some Top Tips (with Recipes!) on How to Avoid Writing

 

Mennonite Buggy - Colleen Friesen
Mennonite Buggy – Colleen Friesen

“Writing is 90 percent procrastination: reading magazines, eating cereal out of the box, watching infomercials. It’s a matter of doing everything you can to avoid writing, until it is about four in the morning and you reach the point where you have to write.” – Paul Rudnick

 

My ability to avoid writing has once-again reached wondrous new depths of procrastination in my exhaustive use of mundane excuses:

  • Suddenly there are so many Facebook posts that require my ‘liking’.
  • OMG. I haven’t posted an image to Instagram today. I should go for a walk and see what looks interesting, besides, it’s exercise. I need to oxygenate my brain if I’m going to be creative.
  • How long has it been since I wiped the top of the kitchen cupboards?
  • What about the laundry? Shouldn’t I put in a load?
  • I need new jeans. I should drive to a mall to find some.
  • I need to waterproof my shoes before I head out into that monsoon.
  • Oh man, why on earth did I buy those leeks last week? They’re going to be trash soon. I should google a recipe for leek soup. I need to make that soup right now. You should never waste food…
  • OK, what about my upcoming trip? Shouldn’t I print off the pre-trip checklist that Walk Japan just sent? What the heck is a yukata? And I really should start a list for the trip so I can fit everything in my carry-on.
  • Pizza. Yes! I’ll make pesto pizza for an easy supper so I can use up that goat cheese.

But seriously, oh people, seriously, what I was truly supposed to be doing today was writing the 3000-word article about cycling in Kitchener-Waterloo. I need to get it done before I leave for Japan on the 17th.

 

At St. Jacobs Market - Colleen Friesen
At St. Jacobs Market – Colleen Friesen

 

Instead, I have made soup, cleaned cupboards and yes, I went to the mall and got a hot deal on a pair of new jeans. Plus, I found the trench-style rain jacket I’ve been looking for ever since I left my other one on the train from Paris in May 2012. As one does…

And last week? It was a bit of a trainwreck…meaning, not a lot of writing got done, though I did manage to have a ridiculous number of phone conversations, all of which were crazily-intense and left me weeping way too often. And, I knocked down and moved my art studio to my newest location (fourth move in less than a year, but who’s counting right?!) and went to a number of dinner parties with my betrothed…so there was some fun too. There IS that.

So, although I’m going to call today a bit of a bust, I did write some sloppy beginnings to the story. Most of what I wrote isn’t fit to be seen, but at least I peppered the page with some random font that somewhat resembles sentences.

Meanwhile, the apartment is pretty sparkly-clean, the laundry is done, I’ve got soup pre-made for tomorrow’s lunch to be served with some pretty stellar leftover pizza, and…did I mention that my fabulous new Eddie Bauer trenchcoat was on sale for 26.95??

Not all was lost.

There’s always tomorrow. I’ll be so ready – especially now that I’ve got all these important tasks out of the way.

Look out Tuesday!

 

10 Responses

  1. sarah
    sarah at |

    Talk about timing. It’s 5 am here in Istanbul and I’m sitting on the bedroom floor with my laptop trying not to wake my sleeping partner after finally giving up on the idea of sleeping any more myself. The reason for my insomnia is that I awoke in a panic at not having written any posts for the past three weeks due to a crazy schedule of a conference in Athens followed by back to back press trips. Rather than toss and turn any longer I decided to get up and try to do some writing. Of course first I had to check my emails and so now here I am procrastinating by reading your hilarious post about procrastination. Thanks for taking the edge off my anxiety attack… apparently I’m in very good company!

    Reply
  2. C
    C at |

    Oh, you too? Lordy, do I ever get creative with my time during these crucial, deadline-approaching, alert-alert writing days! Thanks (or no thanks) for the recipes and new procrastination ideas…:)

    Reply
  3. Colleen Hannegan
    Colleen Hannegan at |

    Oh what fun it is to not write, eh?!!! Especially now that my book is actually in print! I so enjoy your slant on the writing life, or should I say, all the moments we get to hear from you when you do what you do when you’re not writing. And may I add, responding to posts, counts for writing …doesn’t it??!!

    Reply
  4. Sandy Biback
    Sandy Biback at |

    And so, I will procrastinate by re-reading your post & send it to a number of friends & colleagues! And of course, I took a long time to think about all this!

    Thanks for my morning laugh.

    Reply
  5. Sophie Berner
    Sophie Berner at |

    Ooohh,..Colleen, how I loved and laughed over your latest ruminations….a perfect way to start my Tuesday. Mind you, I’ve just come home from the shop that installed my snow tires, it’s only 10:00 am, and usually, I’m still at the breakfast table, reading the news, e-mails and Facebook posts that came in overnight from Canada. Looking forward to your next journey and random thoughts…… .

    Reply

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