Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar.
I have a tendency to read a lot of meaning into just about everything. Blame it on my predisposition toward metaphor. Blame it on my navel-gazing, and one too many self-help books, but my way of viewing the world remains.
And sometimes I think there is a lot to my metaphysical interpretations. Years ago, it was because of that perspective (maybe my screaming back pain was an emotional issue?) that led me to some real breakthroughs in understanding and caring for myself.
And when I had that ongoing lump in my throat…it was suggested to me that perhaps I was feeling it was too dangerous to speak my truth.
Well, here I am. It is years later, and every day I get braver with my writing and saying what I think. And so far there have been no bolts of lightning to strike me dead and that stupid lump hasn’t been back in forever.
It seems the more I write, and dare to say what I think and believe, the freer I feel.
I could go on with these examples. But I’ll show you some mercy and I won’t.
But sometimes, shit just happens. There are viruses and bugs and diseases that hit people, dogs and roses. I’m quite sure the average rose bush has a pretty positive mindset (though do roses actually think or simply spend their time vibrating the word RED?)
Yet, no matter what they believe, those fragile beauties can succumb to disease or attacks from aphids.
My dearly departed Dalmatian was the most positively goofy dog on that planet. But she too, succumbed to disease and death. It is the nature of life to die.
Life is random chaos, and our world is, by its very nature, change and impermanence and things that go bump in the night. All is not necessarily in our control.
So. When I finally went to my doctor to say, I feel like I’m pushing uphill and my thinking is so foggy and my inability to remember something from one moment to the next is no longer very amusing. And yes, I know all of these things sound like stupid perimenopausal things or depression, but it feels like that’s not a good enough explanation because I feel quite positive in spite of these symptoms.
She took me seriously. She ticked all the boxes for blood tests and…voila; depleted B12 levels which leads to fatigue, aching body, foggy thinking…
“Eat some steak and eggs,” she said, “Take a supplement once a day. Come back after your trip, so we can figure out why this is happening.”
Meanwhile, I feel better already.
Maybe I’ll smoke a cigar.
- You’re Getting Dumber as You Age. Here’s How to Slow the Decline (theatlantic.com)
- The sly epidemic : B-12 Deficiency – Do you have any of these symptoms? (aionofiris.com)
Hey you, take B12 deficiency very seriously as it can lead to some pretty serious health issues. If you really want to feel better before your trip you can ask for an infusion of the stuff, pretty marvelous. Hope your doc told you to take the pill that you put under your tongue or you are wasting your money. The plan is to make sure you have the zest of life in hand to enjoy France!
Thanks for the tip on the pills Barb. My doctor said that normally she would give me an injection, but since she’s in Sechelt, I’m in Vancouver and leaving the country, that I should just do the pills. But clearly I have the wrong ones!
She said it was puzzling how low my levels were but that she’d ruled out celiac in the same test, so…Yes, I’m very serious. I read some of the repercussions if left unchecked. YIKES.
I will follow up, thanks Colleen. Someone told me once that “normal” is just a setting on your dryer.
LOVE that ‘normal’ setting Karen. That’s what was becoming so strange, the tiredness was starting to feel ‘normal’. Glad you’re going to check into it.
Yesterday, just yesterday, I taught my usual stretch class and I felt like I had marbles in my mouth, cotton balls down my throat and silly putty in my brain. I was a little startled and somewhat worried. Strangely enough I was craving a steak, so I went out and had one. Your blog makes me feel better and perhaps a little closer to normal. Thank you.
Hey Karen, be careful if you’re using me as a normality test!
I really would recommend asking for the blood test. I had gone in there thinking maybe she could test me for my thyroid (because my sister just got that diagnosis and it’s hereditary) so when she told me my thyroid was fine but my B12 levels were in the tank, I was just so grateful that there was a ‘real’ reason for my tiredness and inability to think! Please follow up. We don’t have to accept this as normal 🙂
I was just telling Javier about the time I went with “whats her name” to see “what was that movie again?” and I could see him trying hard to think of a response. Looks like it’s time for some B12 for me.
Hey Michele, I HEAR you 🙂 There is a definitive blood test. Takes only a couple of days for a result. Get it done!
Ongoing B12 depletion is not a good thing.
Do a little internet search on the topic, it’s enough to give you even more heart palpilations (another B12 deficiency symptom that has been making me mental). Seriously. I just thought I was stuck with whatever this all was, but it really does need to be dealt with and remedied.
Wow, B12, sounds like a great remedy so I hope it helps. Hope you’re also taking calcium & magnesium (50/50 blend) with Vit D and zinc to stay healthy.
As for speaking your mind, that comes with getting older, wiser and menopause. After going through a couple of years of ups, downs and crazies, I became more confident to speak out and not care so much about what others might think. The symptoms do eventually ease — staying fit and healthy really helps.
Nice to have wise company Martha 🙂
I’m just so glad that my doctor had a definitive blood test that could explain my fatigue and then concrete steps I could take to help fix it.
I just couldn’t understand why I was so tired when I was doing all those ‘right’ things, like exercise, eating well, etc., etc., Glad to know that ‘This too shall pass’.
Not a bad prescription, either! Hopefully that helps and you’ll be sharp as a tack again in no time!
You bet Becca. Had two soft-boiled eggs this morning. I’m on the plan! Not sure how sharp I’ll get, but it’s gotta be better than my current state 🙂