“Get a reputation for getting up early…and you can sleep ’til noon every day.”
I met someone recently who had decided that I was this ‘inspirational’ person. “You do this, You do that, you’re having this wildly full and wonderful life! I live vicariously through you.”
What? It was uncomfortable. And it’s true, I am having a wonderful life, it’s just not the one that they’re describing or have imagined for me.
I didn’t want to problog and denigrate myself in order to make them feel better, but I also knew that they had this completely false idea of what my ‘amazing’ life looked like.
“Listen,” I said, “this coffee I’m having with you is my big outing for the day.” This friend laughed, the kind of laugh that says they know better, that they know I am just being humble or self-deprecating.
Uh…no.
But I didn’t want to knock myself down so they could feel better and besides then it sounds like I’m probloging a little too much, which makes them only believe their own version more…It just gets stupid. Besides, I have no interest in playing that game.
Somewhere, at some point, they decided I was someone who got up early and got going. And yes, I do get up pretty early, but not unusually so, and not because I’m doing anything that borders on the Woo-Hoo! It’s just because that’s the time when I happen to wake up.
I am not interested in being this imaginary heroic person that they’ve decided I need to be. It is not that exciting to spend hours in front of a screen, staring at the cursor and begging the rather aloof and stand-offish Muse for some help. Anybody watching my day would swear watching paint dry was more exciting, especially because at the end of that type of day, at least there’s a nicely coloured wall.
And far be it for me to let them know that some of my recent highlights were filming my chickens at an old typewriter. And I’m saying this in a good way, because truly…how could that NOT be a highlight? It was damned funny.
But I don’t think it’s quite what they have in mind when they’re talking about my amazingly full life, which is as it should be; it’s my version of a full life.
I like having friends, not fans…No wonder those celebrities get so twisted, apparently I have one quasi-fan and I end up in this total spin…
But seriously, aren’t we all just supposed to want our own lives?
You seem to be very happy with your amazing life Colleen. Maybe it was just a case of someone thinking about the “grass being greener” ? I know when I was home raising my brood, I used to enjoy wondering where you were travelling, what you were seeing and experiencing around the world. It wasn’t that I was unsatisfied with my own life, I loved the choices I made, I think it was just fun to look over that fence and see how great the life you were living was as well. Both great, just different. Maybe that is how your “fan” felt as well. 🙂
My dear friend…you are SO smart. I’m sure you’re right. I think I just get so twitchy when things like that happen. I’m sure I’m revealing more about my own issues (again!) than anything else. And yes, I’m always curious about other people’s lives too. Thanks for your wise words.