If I could wave a big fat wand, I would be magically transported to one of those amazing writing retreats for women.

To do this, I wouldn’t have to package any proposals, or fill out a bunch of forms, or even go to an airport and go through all that traveling stuff…uh, uh…I would just do that Bewitched thing and voila! I’d find myself strolling around a serene environment with a personal editor who hung on my every word and pushed me to dizzying heights of rhapsodic writing. Is there such a word? Should be if there isn’t. 

As I was saying, at this retreat, I would have a perfect little cabin with wifi, a great desk with a view over the lake; a lake where loons would call out at night, a lake where fingers of mist would wend through the trees in the morning while I sat on the deck with a woolly throw on my lap – a red plaid woolly blanket in fact, hell, it might even be thick cashmere.  This is a fantasy after all…

I think I’d like to add a personal trainer into the mix. If we’re going to go big with this thing, then let me have a personal trainer as well.  I think so much better after exercise.

Oh, and the food is organic, locally sourced and whipped into a gourmet vision every night by a five-star chef while I sit with other amazing writers discussing all that we accomplished that day.  And believe me, we accomplish a miraculous amount of work. The editor is merely waiting for us to finish our collective manuscripts so that we can all sign lucrative contracts.

Hmmm…alternatively, one could check out these retreats that I found on Tumblemoose.com. There’s no instant teleporting of bodies to these places, and you do have to apply by filling out various and sundry forms and you will be allowed based only on your writing ability…BUT…after that, the fantasy reads almost exactly right.

Maybe not the cashmere part or the gourmet thing, but still, even so, the rest of it would be pretty darned fine.