This is a sad, but true, and in the end, a hopeful tale…

I decided that I couldn’t possibly a) write a great novel, or b) begin the  1800 word assignment that I’ve been avoiding, or c) write anything at all, until I’d cleaned out my fridge and spice drawer. Yes.

Procrastination Now! Everyone altogether with me, Put Off the Important Stuff by creating stupid niggling projects.

I rationalize thusly…how can I possibly work knowing that this chaos of things undone, and things with best before dates that would make a petri dish blush, how, how, how on earth can I do anything else, until those things are dealt with? Never mind that apparently they’ve been neglected for years.

Yes, it’s time to come clean (pun is very much intended). Some of the before dates were 2001. Kids, don’t try this at home. These are very dangerous science experiments. Obviously we do not consume much mayonnaise or ketchup. In fact, I’m not really sure why there is ketchup in the door.  Apparently there’s not a big demand for Hoisin Sauce or artisanal salad dressings.

The fridge when done, had spaces, large gappage. The door actually rattles with the few lonely bottles left behind. The recycling bin was overflowing with bottles. The toilet bowl left with a sad ring of oil from the last of the hairy pesto and the blue-green experiment called sun-dried tomatoes. Yuk.

The spice drawer is an alphabetical masterpiece of freshness and little labelled tops. Oh yeh baby.

I am a better person as a result of this. I’m sure of it.

And. I wrote 106 words of the 1800 word assignment. See? See? It works I tell you, it really works.