Archive for the Category »Books «

Writing a Book

07 Mar 2012 -
Glass Hearts

Follow Your Heart

 

“You ask whether your verses are any good. You ask me. You have asked others before this. You send them to magazines. You compare them with other poems, and you are upset when certain editors reject your work. Now (since you have said you want my advice) I beg you to stop doing that sort of thing.

You are looking outside, and that is what you should most avoid right now. No one can advise or help you – no one. There is only one thing you should do. Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write.

This most of all: ask yourself in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple “I must”, then build your life in accordance with this necessity; your whole life, even into its humblest and most indifferent hour, must become a sign and witness to this impulse.”

- Rainer Maria Rilke

I love that I am taking comfort from words penned in 1903. But this is such wise and timeless advice, that is so obviously applicable far beyond the subject of writing. This line in particular, really resonates,

“You are looking outside, and that is what you should most avoid right now. No one can advise or help you – no one. There is only one thing you should do. Go into yourself. “

I spent so much of life hoping that someone or something outside of me would have the answer(s) to all my questions. Someone else could ‘fix’ things. There is something quite lovely about being on the other side of 50…and being able to see that there are no real authorities to send me in the right direction.

Tag. I’m it.

And so I continue down this rabbit hole that is this process called writing a book, which, like anything we pursue, is really about the process of creating our lives. There is no one to ask for assistance. It is the ultimate in solo travel.

But these other words of Rainer Maria Wilke let me know this is hardly new. My hope is that they might help you on whatever path you may be on…

“A work of art is good if it has arisen out of necessity. That is the only way one can judge it. So, dear Sir, I can’t give you any advice but this: to go into yourself and see how deep the place is from which your life flows; at its source you will find the answer to, the question of whether you must create. Accept that answer, just as it is given to you, without trying to interpret it. Perhaps you will discover that you are called to be an artist. Then take that destiny upon yourself, and bear it, its burden and its greatness, without ever asking what reward might come from outside.”  

Category: Books, Memory, Musings, Photos, Writing  Tags: , , , , , , ,  10 Comments

The Art of the Pilgrimage

27 Feb 2012 -
P1030924

Beauty

“With a deepening of focus, keen preparation, attention to the path below our feet, and respect for the destination at hand, it is possible to transform, even the most ordinary journey into a sacred journey, a pligrimage.” 

-  excerpt from Phil Cousineau’s, The Art of the Pilgrimage.

I remember when I first found The Art of the Pilgrimage. Kevin & I were still in the throes of being gainfully employed, but we had agreed on our plan to check out .

You know how some people collect stamps or salt & pepper shakers?  Well, I was busy acquiring every book I could find about living differently, traveling and alternative or simplified lifestyles. But when I found The Art of the Pilgrimage, I felt like I had found the book that held a very important key.

I’m thinking about this book again after my return from the writing conference at San Miguel de Allende.

Because, as I’ve discovered and confirmed over and over for myself; traveling is a pilgrimage. Like those ancient knights in search of the Holy Grail, I came home from this trip with my treasure. And the boon for me is the gift of knowing that I am now truly on the right path with what I need to write.

Attending the conference, meeting the presenters, other writers and dedicated readers has given me the clarity to know what I need to do, and most importantly, the way to do it.

And so, as I am wont to do, I am making an announcement to help hold my feet to the proverbial fire. That is;  I am writing a memoir.

No more throwing fictional smoke and mirrors on the subject. It is what it is and I need to get it down. Click cursor to screen, pen to page, chisel to tablet…(someone please make me stop).

T.S. Eliot said, “We shall not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.”

Category: Books, Musings, Photos, Writing  Tags: , , , , ,  10 Comments

Hanging by a Thread

13 Feb 2012 -

 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/chefranden/

Consider a piece of cloth.

Try to follow just one single thread but see how it goes in and around and through the others; weaving into the texture of every other strand, creating something new with every contact. See how those individual lines are lost and we are now dealing with a piece of fabric as a whole unit?

But, all we have to do is pull one thin thread and we realize the interdependence of all the others. There is no escaping the connections.

Consider our lives.

We can talk about destiny or fate. We can talk about choosing our response. We can talk about the consequences of our actions and why we must always choose wisely.

But here comes the randomness of life; we can make all the right choices and someone else can choose to drink and drive and their errant thread might very well be the one that rips into ours at the exact wrong moment. Or perhaps the pilot had a rough night, and his choice to fly regardless, is the strand that takes us all down (Hmmm…just thinking that’s not such a good example as I’m flying tomorrow. Hope that pilot is well-rested).

We are all so tightly interwoven that most of the time we don’t even see it or we deny that it even exists. Instead, we delude ourselves that we are in control of our single, fragile filament.

These are some of the thoughts that swirled around in my head as I stared at the bedroom ceiling last night while in the throes of another night of hormonally-induced insomnia. I attribute this particular vein of thinking on the book sitting on my nightstand. I had been reading the devastatingly fine book, Let the Great World Spin by Colum McCann.

In a compelling narrative set in the the early 70s, McCann illustrates how each of our lives hang in the balance of other’s decisions. Starting with the opening high wire act between the World Trade Towers (based on a true event), he reveals how each character’s life is devastatingly impacted by each person they come in contact with – whether by intention – or by chance.

This has been done to great effect by many films and writers, but this book takes the twin themes of love and loss much further. I am sad to know that I’ll probably be finished it tonight, though I doubt I’ll ever be finished thinking about it.

Especially if I spend another night staring up at the ceiling pondering the thread of my own existence.

Category: Books, Musings, Photos  Tags: , , , ,  5 Comments

Illusory Superiority or Why We’re All Above Average

24 Jan 2012 -

 

Scandinave Spa Fire, Whistler, BC
“It strikes me that this may be one of the differences between youth and age: when we are young, we invent different futures for ourselves; when we are old, we invent different pasts for others.”

-from the novel by Julian Barnes, The Sense of an Ending

I finished The Sense of an Ending last night. I’m not sure if I can say I liked it yet, but it is certainly stirring up some new thoughts. I always take as a very good sign.

It concerns Tony. He is growing older and slowly becoming aware – at least partially – of how he has starred in his own story by assuming what other people’s motives were.  What Tony is also realizing, is that he has been a passive player in his life, allowing things to happen and striking out when he feels misunderstood.  It struck me that he missed one key piece:  We not only star in our stories.  We are allowed to be the director too. 

There’s more. Tony also refers to the ‘better than average’ effect. It would seem that most of us do this; whereby we believe ourselves to be superior to those around us, like this study where 93% of the drivers in the sample placed themselves in the top 50% for driving ability.

Funny. You’d think our highways would be free of accidents if we’re all so great.

Scientists aren’t sure why we do this. The good news is that if you do, it likely means you’re fairly “healthy”, at least in terms of these studies. Depressed people tend to see themselves as ‘less than’ which strikes me as an even worse delusion.

Next time I’m feeling smug and superior? I’ve decided it is a claxon call telling me that I’m more likely discovering that I’m spectacularly average.

In looking for more information on this topic, I found this audio clip where the author, Carol Dweck, PhD, is comparing a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset. It seems to me that our pal Tony lived with a fixed mindset where he looked for blame and saw everything as a reflection about how he looked and was therefore threatened by anyone else’s behaviour.

With a growth mindset Tony might have left himself open for learning and more emotionally healthy connections.

Dweck uses the example of parents who see their children as only a reflection of their parenting. It’s all about them and how they look, instead of nurturing their child to discover their own abilities and happiness.

Fixed mindsets are all about measurements; numbers that find you either coming up short or miles above everyone else. Either place is rather lonely.

Growth mindsets are more about finding out about what you want to learn, discover and bring you joy, leaving you open to connections and better emotional health.

I’m thinking the growth plan is definitely superior!

 

 

 

 

 

Category: Books, Musings, Photos  Tags: , ,  4 Comments

Altering, Editing and Generally Wreaking Havoc

13 Dec 2011 -

 

Collage

I think part of the appeal is that I feel like I’m getting away with something very bad.

In fact, the more appropriate word would be naughty. And then I wonder. Does anyone actually say naughty anymore, unless they’re advertising in the back section of the newspaper and there are lots of X’s involved?

But today, when I had that oh-so-naughty feeling, I remembered that the first time I felt that way was when I was creating an altered book. I had found a great hardcover kids book at the thrift store. As I was gluing some of the pages together to make the pages thicker & thereby easier to collage, I felt like I was being SO bad by deliberately wrecking a book.

When I was growing up, books, both in school and at home, were to be treated with the utmost respect; something to be treasured and cared for, and yet, here I was gluing and cutting and generally making a mess of the most holy of holies…and oh my, it felt great!

I don’t think you have to scratch too many Mennonites (or at least this one) too deeply to find a Rebel Rule Breaker. I revelled in all that destruction.

All in the name of art, of course.  

Which is why I think I’m having so much fun on my latest projects. I started with this idea of felting old sweaters to make fingerless gloves, but then I started looking at the rest of the sweater. So, today as I cut through the 100% felted cashmere sweater and then the 100% Merino Wool sweater (gasp!), I looked at the resulting truncated torso, stitched the two tubes together and voila, I had created a funky new sweater all while simultaneously having a glorious rush of doing something really wrong because there I was, cutting up “perfectly good” clothing. Oh the sin!

To be fair, it wasn’t quite perfectly good any more, not since I’d washed it all three times and cooked it up into felty pieces of cloth. But still, my mother’s voice was coming in on the Heavenly headset…loud and clear…”Colleen. How many times have I told you? You need to take care of your things!”

And I think this is why I love writing and editing.

While I was doing this sewing project, I was also working on a short travel piece. The deadline is coming up and so I pulled up a long piece I’d done on the topic, copied and pasted it into a new document and ruthlessly cut and chopped and moved text around, adding and deleting until I was down to my requisite 400 words. In between paragraphs, I went downstairs and scissored and sewed and moved bits of wool and buttons around.

And by the time I left the house for another trip to the Sally Ann for more sweaters, I had fashioned a new top, a pair of gloves were in the works, my four-hundred word story was waiting for a final reading and I had gone up and down the stairs about a million times, proving yet again that a gym and Stairmasters are unnecessary.

All in all? In my world. This was a red-letter groovy day. I think even my mom would have approved.

 

Category: Books, Collage, Musings, Photos, Writing  6 Comments
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