Let’s Pretend

 

 

“As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands,

one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.”

 Maya Angelou

 

Remember when you were a kid and you’d say, “Let’s play pretend.”

Let’s revive that game shall we?

Take a deep breath and join me in imagining that we’ve been transported into a parallel universe. This place looks remarkably like our current planet, maybe a little brighter, a little shinier, but more than the exaggerated colours, there is one major difference in how one lives.

 

In this new place, you discover that everyone is assigned another human that becomes their lifetime responsibility. This person is beyond the regular responsibilities found in the usual relationships with parents, children, siblings, friends or cousins.

You learn that as soon as you’re of an age deemed to be independent, this other person that is assigned to you must be your absolute priority.

Your job is to advocate on their behalf. You go with them to any medical appointments. You make sure they are eating properly and drinking plenty of water. You teach them to quiet their mind with meditation. You explain to them the benefits of sunscreen. You make sure they get enough exercise. You work hard every day to let them know they are loved and cared for. You show them how to care for their skin with oils and lotions. Your ultimate assignment is to help them learn to love themselves completely and without reservation. Obviously, this is not an easy assignment.   It is a big responsibility because you still have all your usual relationships that need to be maintained and nurtured.

But this, this special lifetime project, is understood to be your utmost priority.

So…you’ve probably figured this out by now. This is not about a “let’s-pretend-place”.

And the assignment? The human being assigned to you…is you.

You and me.

We are the projects.

I am my assignment. It is up to me and me alone to properly care for myself. Like you, I’ve been cognizant of these things but until my Parkinson’s diagnosis, I’m pretty sure that if there had been an exam, my results wouldn’t have received top marks.

My health is now my absolute priority. It is really the only priority and, as it turns out, that has been true all along. I just didn’t follow through on it like I do now. Now, my day is taken up with taking care of myself.

The means a walk in nature every morning.

 

 

Some days are definitely harder than others. But whether I’m moving slowly or some new awkwardness has presented itself, watching Baxter’s ears do their happy bounce as he explores every inch of the trail, is its own form of healing.

 

 

Prioritizing my health means coming home to stretch, to add some strengthening exercises, and to set the meditation timer for 20 minutes. It means being consistent in taking my pills at 7:00 a.m, noon and 6:00 pm every day, which also means not eating before or after for 30-60 minutes so that my body’s digestion doesn’t compete with the absorption of the medicine.

Every day, I focus on the best intake of fruits and vegetables. I drink tons of water and am sure to schedule some sort of social interaction as a daily part of my ‘medicine’.  I fully understand that creating, whether with paints, collage, photography, music or cooking is not an indulgence. It is an absolute necessity.

We have lived in Kimberley for just over six years and until now, I had never set foot in the aquatic centre. Now I  go to the pool twice a week, building my endurance with each slow lap. Almost every day, I play the piano. And each time, I smile and say, yes mom, you were right. Thank you for pushing me to practise (admittedly, she’s a bit smug about it all, but still I thank her. It seems the least I can do after all the hell I put her through).

I stumble through new pieces and imagine that each time I find the correct note, I am helping build new synaptic connections…working hard to lay new tracks in my brain.

I nap when I’m tired. Sometimes I drink tea and simply watch the branches stir in the breeze.

Daily, I randomly remind myself to take deep breaths.  Slow inhalation. Slow exhalation. Repeat.

Quiet the breath. Quiet the body.

All of this is simply an effort to support my body/my mind/my spirit in the best way possible.

We are each born with our singular constellation of stardust and light.

 

 

Our responsibility is to care for our uniquely perfect selves so we might shine as bright as possible…because truly, like on my pretend planet, we are responsible not only to ourselves, but to each other.  And you never know whose path you might be helping to illuminate.

Shine bright my friends.

 

22 Responses

  1. Terry Carter
    Terry Carter at |

    Wow that was an amazing read. Great reminder. Thanks Colleen and I hope the best for you. ❤️

    Reply
    1. Colleen Friesen
      Colleen Friesen at |

      Thanks so much Terry. Good health is so precious and can change so quickly.
      I am currently doing well with the meds I’m on and am so grateful to have access to healthcare.
      Take care.

      Reply
  2. Sophie Berner
    Sophie Berner at |

    What a beautiful blog, Colleen…pictures and words. You amaze and inspire me to always “do better”, my much younger friend! Thinking of you often where autumn colours here, are the same as yours. ❤️

    Reply
    1. Colleen Friesen
      Colleen Friesen at |

      Thank you for your always kind words Sophie.

      I sometimes think of my writing to be like the cultural equivalent of marriage vows: promises that are said in front of witnesses, so I have to hold myself accountable.

      I write to understand what I think and so I show up and do what I said I would.

      Reply
  3. Zena Williams
    Zena Williams at |

    You inspire me with every blog you post 🥰

    Reply
    1. Colleen Friesen
      Colleen Friesen at |

      Bless you Zena. Thanks.

      Reply
  4. Martha Melling
    Martha Melling at |

    Just keep shining and don’t forget to laugh out loud!
    Love you.

    Reply
    1. Colleen Friesen
      Colleen Friesen at |

      Martha. You know me too well. Kevin likes to say I have a “delicate tinkle of a laugh”. And then he laughs and laughs. 🤣

      Reply
  5. Laurie
    Laurie at |

    Love your blogs , and I am glad you look after yourself see the brightness and positivity in everyday, Keep on going your an inspiration to all of us !

    Reply
    1. Colleen Friesen
      Colleen Friesen at |

      Back at you Laurie. You’re my inspiration too. We just have to keep on keeping on.

      Reply
  6. Julie Dove
    Julie Dove at |

    I’m totally with you there. Our job is caring for our bodies, our mind and our souls peacefulness. It’s a consistent rebalancing act. Ironic how a disease forces us into caring for ourselves. We’re following a path more like some ancient Asian cultures do now. Placing value in centering ourselves.

    Reply
    1. Colleen Friesen
      Colleen Friesen at |

      Julie. I’m so glad to have found you…it is so good to have a friend who has the same diagnosis and completely understands what this is all about.
      And yes, how bloody ironic that it’s the disease that is pushing us to be our ‘healthiest’ self.
      To continue the irony theme, I feel like I’m way less prone to getting dragged into any drama.
      Peace is my ongoing focus.

      Reply
  7. Karen Harmon
    Karen Harmon at |

    I thoroughly enjoyed this blog. Really relatable to me right now. I have a new strategy when I plan my day. I decide to do three things. They could be two small things and one medium thing. They could be one big thing and two little things – on a rare occasion, I might do one big thing that equals three little things. I’m pretty sure you get my point. I’m embracing the slowing down part, the enjoying my surroundings part. I’m trying not to be hard on myself. But sometimes, even though she doesn’t mean to, she annoys me and sometimes I feel sorry for her. But mostly I like her. I love your blog – and I love the reminder that I am my responsibility xox

    Reply
    1. Colleen Friesen
      Colleen Friesen at |

      I love your three-thing-strategy Karen.
      Long ago, (back when there were still dinosaurs), I had a business day-timer that had categories for emotional, mental, spiritual and physical goals. It was, I believe, a Stephen Covey day-timer.
      It really helped me remember to try to aim for balance in my day. I’d forgotten about it until I saw your three-part-plan.
      We are all ongoing works-in-progress.

      Reply
  8. Janyce B
    Janyce B at |

    Absolutely love this post. A great reminder for me too. You are so motivated and focused as an artist and as a human to yourself and others. I look forward to a visit with you soon. 🙏🏻🍂💕

    Reply
    1. Colleen Friesen
      Colleen Friesen at |

      Janyce. I sure don’t always feel very inspirational, especially when I’m flopped on the couch, doomscrolling through Twitter…
      We all know the right things to do but I think I figure if I say it and write it often enough, it will stick. It makes me more accountable to myself.
      Looking forward to having a coffee with you sometime soon.

      Reply
  9. Colleen Friesen
    Colleen Friesen at |

    Catherine. Isn’t it amazing that it’s been 13 years? Life seems to be a series of chance encounters and connections. .
    Thank you for being part of it all.

    Reply
  10. Catherine Clarke
    Catherine Clarke at |

    Colleen, I am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. During the 13 years since our paths crossed I looked forward to your inspirational blogs and Facebook posts. I am thinking of you and Kevin. Take good care and look after yourself.

    Reply
  11. Colleen Friesen
    Colleen Friesen at |

    Thanks Kelly. I find that I tend to write these things as a reminder to myself and glad it speaks to others too.

    Reply
  12. Darcy
    Darcy at |

    Brilliant just like you as always, and ever

    Reply
    1. Colleen Friesen
      Colleen Friesen at |

      Blessings darling Darcy.

      Reply
  13. Kelly B
    Kelly B at |

    Beautiful!
    Thank you for sharing and reminding me how precious I am, you are, we are and to handle with care.
    ❤️🙏🏼🐝

    Reply

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