“Writing is 90 percent procrastination: reading magazines, eating cereal out of the box, watching infomercials. It’s a matter of doing everything you can to avoid writing, until it is about four in the morning and you reach the point where you have to write.” – Paul Rudnick
My ability to avoid writing has once-again reached wondrous new depths of procrastination in my exhaustive use of mundane excuses:
- Suddenly there are so many Facebook posts that require my ‘liking’.
- OMG. I haven’t posted an image to Instagram today. I should go for a walk and see what looks interesting, besides, it’s exercise. I need to oxygenate my brain if I’m going to be creative.
- How long has it been since I wiped the top of the kitchen cupboards?
- What about the laundry? Shouldn’t I put in a load?
- I need new jeans. I should drive to a mall to find some.
- I need to waterproof my shoes before I head out into that monsoon.
- Oh man, why on earth did I buy those leeks last week? They’re going to be trash soon. I should google a recipe for leek soup. I need to make that soup right now. You should never waste food…
- OK, what about my upcoming trip? Shouldn’t I print off the pre-trip checklist that Walk Japan just sent? What the heck is a yukata? And I really should start a list for the trip so I can fit everything in my carry-on.
- Pizza. Yes! I’ll make pesto pizza for an easy supper so I can use up that goat cheese.
But seriously, oh people, seriously, what I was truly supposed to be doing today was writing the 3000-word article about cycling in Kitchener-Waterloo. I need to get it done before I leave for Japan on the 17th.
Instead, I have made soup, cleaned cupboards and yes, I went to the mall and got a hot deal on a pair of new jeans. Plus, I found the trench-style rain jacket I’ve been looking for ever since I left my other one on the train from Paris in May 2012. As one does…
And last week? It was a bit of a trainwreck…meaning, not a lot of writing got done, though I did manage to have a ridiculous number of phone conversations, all of which were crazily-intense and left me weeping way too often. And, I knocked down and moved my art studio to my newest location (fourth move in less than a year, but who’s counting right?!) and went to a number of dinner parties with my betrothed…so there was some fun too. There IS that.
So, although I’m going to call today a bit of a bust, I did write some sloppy beginnings to the story. Most of what I wrote isn’t fit to be seen, but at least I peppered the page with some random font that somewhat resembles sentences.
Meanwhile, the apartment is pretty sparkly-clean, the laundry is done, I’ve got soup pre-made for tomorrow’s lunch to be served with some pretty stellar leftover pizza, and…did I mention that my fabulous new Eddie Bauer trenchcoat was on sale for 26.95??
Not all was lost.
There’s always tomorrow. I’ll be so ready – especially now that I’ve got all these important tasks out of the way.
Look out Tuesday!
Talk about timing. It’s 5 am here in Istanbul and I’m sitting on the bedroom floor with my laptop trying not to wake my sleeping partner after finally giving up on the idea of sleeping any more myself. The reason for my insomnia is that I awoke in a panic at not having written any posts for the past three weeks due to a crazy schedule of a conference in Athens followed by back to back press trips. Rather than toss and turn any longer I decided to get up and try to do some writing. Of course first I had to check my emails and so now here I am procrastinating by reading your hilarious post about procrastination. Thanks for taking the edge off my anxiety attack… apparently I’m in very good company!
Hey Sarah. I don’t think you should consider my anxious procrastination as being ‘in very good company’. I think, that rather, you should be scared. Very scared 🙂
If you get a chance, try to find ‘Still Writing‘ by Dani Shapiro. I’m reading it for a second time and will probably reread it a thousand times more (Inshallah). One of her lines about starting any writing is, “…the very act…is generative. The doing of the thing that makes possible the desire for it.”
Apparently, we need to stop procrastinating and just get at it…which might be hard in a city as wonderfully distracting as Istanbul. Good luck! I’ll look forward to seeing a post soon 🙂
Oh, you too? Lordy, do I ever get creative with my time during these crucial, deadline-approaching, alert-alert writing days! Thanks (or no thanks) for the recipes and new procrastination ideas…:)
I knew I liked you Corinne. Nice to see we share the same creative response to avoidance. Hope you enjoy the pizza and soup recipes. I’m sure it will lead you to random new links of things you simply must check out 🙂 Happy writing and non-writing!
Oh what fun it is to not write, eh?!!! Especially now that my book is actually in print! I so enjoy your slant on the writing life, or should I say, all the moments we get to hear from you when you do what you do when you’re not writing. And may I add, responding to posts, counts for writing …doesn’t it??!!
You’re right Colleen, in a sort of twisted way it really is fun not to write, as I get pretty creative in the things that are suddenly so necessary to do…for instance, this morning it was imperative that I go get Epsom salts so that I could refill the jar by the tub; did you notice I used the word imperative in relation to the purchase of bath salts? Yes. I. Did.
As for writing posts, answering comments and generally tip-tapping away on my laptop, yes, I agree it’s writing…of a sort…but you have to remember, you are talking to a woman whose default hard-wiring is for Mennonite guilt. Therefore I am guilty of not ‘really’ writing on the project that I am otherwise saying is important to me. See?
And so, I will procrastinate by re-reading your post & send it to a number of friends & colleagues! And of course, I took a long time to think about all this!
Thanks for my morning laugh.
Glad to be of assistance Sandy.
And look! You’re already helping me out in my procrastination plan this morning, as it’s imperative that I respond to your comment ASAP…
And so.
Let us take a moment in awed silence, because you, Sandy, in turn, have successfully enabled me to help you to avoid whatever you’re avoiding. Wow. Together we have collectively procrastinated. Now that’s the true power of networking!
Ooohh,..Colleen, how I loved and laughed over your latest ruminations….a perfect way to start my Tuesday. Mind you, I’ve just come home from the shop that installed my snow tires, it’s only 10:00 am, and usually, I’m still at the breakfast table, reading the news, e-mails and Facebook posts that came in overnight from Canada. Looking forward to your next journey and random thoughts…… .
Indeed Sophie, I believe the key word in your comments is ‘random’! I love the idea of sharing a laugh with you. I’m up earlier today so that I can see what wonderfully useless tasks I can come up with to avoid writing the next few paragraphs on my Menno-cycling article. It really is a thing to behold. I swear I watch myself in stunned amazement. The machinations of avoidance are bordering on genius at times…no, really…genius itself. Incroyable!