This is day two of our three-day garage sale. Most of our life is now stacked for sale outside.
As we pull out each chair, statue, chime and mirror to add to the heap in our carport, I feel like another layer of myself is shedding.
According to the current wisdom, this is supposed to make me feel lighter and freer somehow.
This. Is not always the case.
Today I pulled up a huge suitcase of all my published pieces; carefully curated newspaper and magazine clippings separated by year and month. It was a suitcase full of paper. I dumped it all in the recycling bin. As I thought of all those carefully strung sentences, all the hours I agonized over how to portray a particular moment, I started to cry. I felt the loss as I recognized the impermanence of it all…it is literally, yesterday’s news.
We die by degrees. This is not a morbid thought. It is a fact. A fact we carefully conceal from ourselves in order to keep going through each day, each week and our lives.
But when it’s all stripped away, when every carefully curated piece of our surroundings is sold for a twoonie or tossed in a recycling bin or garbage can, we are left with just ourselves.
And guess what? I had my moment of grief for what had been and then Kevin came and gave me a long hug. He made me keep back some of the stories that really mattered to me. It was the perfect compromise. It was easy to let go of the extraneous and I will scan the others to add to this blog’s list of articles. And now it’s true…I feel lighter.
It is lovely to surround ourselves with pieces that tell a story and fill our lives with beauty.
But right now, it feels more important to move through the world in a more unencumbered way. In order to do that I have to let go of what was. My stuff does not define who I am.
The sale continues…
Yes we “die by degrees” but do we not also live by degrees? And if we find ways to life life to fuller degrees, to be happier, kinder, more mindful, grateful, more critically thinking about our effects on the greater world, to blossom into the present moment, if we strive to live life to the utmost, aren’t we then successful by the best definitions? How much stuff do we need to live well? Maybe that is what ‘Less is more’ is all about, freedom from the distractions of attachment (to our stuff) and maintenance (it can be a lot of work to have stuff!)
Okay, having written that with passion in my heart, it’s time to put my money where my mouth is. I have added to my list of afternoon to-do’s “Post backpack on Craigs List” and finally let go of my backpack that has been to Argentina, Chile and half of Europe. Plus today I am clearing out turkey leftovers and making soup for my soul. Clutter clearing can be medicinal. 🙂
Hi Elinor, I’ve been thinking about this idea of living by degrees rather than dying by degrees and I think that perhaps it might be the same thing. Maybe with every thing we lose, we gain something as a result?
Remember this one? ‘Whoever chooses to save his life shall lose it, and whoever will lose his life shall find it.’
Maybe, as we let go of our stuff and all it represents, we open up space in ourselves to new possibilities. Here’s hoping!
Wow! You’re amazing! We’ve been in our house 44 years and have so much junk squirreled away … the mind boggles. When we did a major reno ten yrs ago, the contractor chuckled after a tour of our attic … a typewriter, Commodore 64, Jenny Lind baby crib, glass beer bottles, etc. We had a couple of garage sales years ago, but not cleansing. My biggest challenge will be parting with my gas kiln, Shimpo potter’s wheel, tools, books, chemicals, precious notes, drawings and recipes. There’s no incentive because we’re not downsizing … yet.
Martha, this has been a rather epic journey but I can’t imagine 44 years worth (especially if you add in an attic!)
It was strange at first, but once I took out some special item that I thought would be so hard to part with, and set it down on the sale table beside the tire chains, the Christmas mugs and some old dishes…it suddenly lost its charm. It just looked like one more piece of garage sale junk. Mostly that worked.
But some stuff I kept pulling back and then putting out and then pulling back. One little table should have sprouted wheels for the amount of times I moved it from the sale to the no sale pile! I’m still not sure but I think I’m leaning toward letting it go (again!).
Colleen, I remember a garage sale where a friend wanted to buy a cold air vaporizer priced at $2.00 that I used for Christine when she was a baby. When a friend wanted to buy it, I convinced her not to buy the piece of junk because the bed sheets and covers would get wet. No one else was even interested so back in storage it went. Many years later … maybe 20 … I got pneumonia and it was the only thing that got me through the night.
Hey Martha, sounds like it turned out to be a very valuable piece of junk!
Colleen – For every end there is a new beginning.
Good luck with the move.
Love that quote Catherine! Thank you. It’s getting better by the day.
A fabulous post. Oh i so wish i was there to give you a hug. Best of luck with the sale. You are doing the right thing!
I can feel your cyber-hug from here Barb. Thank you for the encouragement.
I have had so many hugs from neighbours and friends that I’m actually feeling quite good right now.
The house is starting to echo a little. There is lots of space between things!
And the stuff is getting easier and easier to let go.
Colleen, I have just gone through this process, having to dispose of nearly everything in the home we lived in for 37 years – all of our married lives. The last piece to go was my baby grand piano (it was too big for our new condo) – oh the pain. It was ALL painful – but I can tell you that after the pain, I feel so incredibly free and light and unencumbered. It was the perfect time in our lives to let go of so much of the stuff we’d accumulated, and it’s made me feel eager and excited to start the next part of my life’s journey 🙂 I hope that same feeling comes to you, too.
Wow Becca. It’s so good to hear from someone who’s further ahead on this particular trail.
37 years!? We’ve been here for fifteen and the pile of things is amazing.
But yes, I’m starting to feel it the excitement of starting a new chapter.
The other good thing that is coming out of this is the number of happy people leaving with the perfect thing they wanted in their lives. We are pricing everything very low so that it will move. The result is happy people on both sides of the deal.
No one has suggested a lower price on a single thing so far (probably because much lower would make it free!).