I still can’t believe I did this.
Trussed up and connected to a long cable and quivering on the edge of Lehr’s Falls, I was poised to jump into South Africa’s Oribi Gorge. Moments before I had filled out the indemnity form that required my next of kin’s contact info. I whispered a silent apology to Kevin as I filled in his name and phone number.
At my request Richard checked my harness one more time and said, “I will count three-two-one and then you jump, alright?”
I inched forward, positioned my feet on the shoe prints painted at the very edge of the abyss and asked myself for the zillionth time why I thought it necessary to fling myself into a 300 metre deep gorge while tethered onto a 100 m rope.
“Three…two…one.”
I backed away from the cliff not sure if I was going to throw up.
“I’m too afraid.”
There was no way. I couldn’t do it. My heart seemed to be visible as it flung itself like an insane rabbit against my ribcage. “I can’t do it,” I said, “this is crazy.”
I took another deep breath and looked deep into Richard’s Coca-Cola eyes. “Richard, I know I said that you shouldn’t push me, but I don’t think I’m going to do this any other way. “
It should be noted that high adrenalin creates a strange intimacy because what I said next came from out of the blue. I immediately pretended to be kidding but I also knew that I needed it to be true. “I love you Richard, do you love me?”
Poor Richard. Who knew what sort of confessions he’d heard at the edge of this cliff. I’d met him only moments before, but still he assured me that he really, really loved me too, that I would be thrilled to have done this, and to just jump. Later I realized I must have wanted ‘I love you’ to be my last words before I jumped off the equivalent of a 30-story building into a gorge that was three times that deep.
I inched back again to the safety of the rock face. “What if I die of a heart attack Richard?”
“I promise you won’t die. Don’t think about it. Just jump,“ his voice was strangely soothing and hypnotic, especially considering he was telling me to jump off a cliff.
“Three…two…one.”
And then.
I flew.
You know what I thought when I watched it? Dang, she must have great internet speed to get that whole video up!!
My favorite part was when you put your head on Richard’s shoulder after. And I was thinking: After that freaky experience I’d want to unharness way farther away from the edge and preferably clutched by every other person there. I would be one to do it too, and probably require the same push, but would be formless jello afterwards and probably at dinner would cycle between sudden bouts of shrieking and waving my arms around and then shaking hard enough to bring a building down. Good for you for pushing yourself to do this. Oh, yeah, Richard did the pushing.
(I always think “I’m working until 2 am, I don’t have time to read Colleen’s posts dang it… and then I do and it’s a fantastic break from my humdrum day!)
“She must have great internet speed…” Proving yet again, that you’re a true computer geek. Actually the internet was really hit and miss, I didn’t have time to edit it the way I wanted to (and speaking of geeky, some of that required sitting outside my hotel room door so I could get better reception).
You guessed right on the shrieking and stunned formless Jell-O response. But there wasn’t too much time right after the jump because then they hooked us up to the zipline series. And THAT pretty much finished me off.
I still get a completely automatic response of sweating palms and pounding heart whenever I watch the video. It’s immediate. I think it’s at some sort of visceral level that I am unable to override. The body knows that it’s not meant to leap off cliffs and zip across gorges 🙂
Soooo cool! I’m totally jealous!!!
Sarah. I really think they should have called this the adrenalin-adventure tour. We just found out that tomorrow we’re taking a hot air balloon over the mountains. How cool is that?? Now if I could just sleep really fast. We have to leave here at 5:00 a.m.
Wow! Karen told me to check this out. You are AMAZING for doing this! I was so nervous just watching you!
Jennifer…I still get nervous every time I watch it… Especially the pre-edited version where I keep walking away from the edge and then back. The footage of me and Richard talking went on forever:)
You are SO very brave Colleen to have attempted to do this, Well Done to you. I am sure that you loved yourself after this, you would have felt that you had betrayed yourself if you hadn’t jump. Amazing that they let you jump without a hard hat.
I remember the first time I learned to swim (not as drastic as your jump), it was in Germany (known for their immaculate swimmbad) I turned around the pool several times, looking at the water, weighing it all and finally jumped in and swam. I think sometimes in life that’s what you need to do – just jump in. You should be proud of yourself to have vanquished your fears.
I agree Catherine. Jump in to life. Like your swimming story, I weighed the facts, asked some questions and decided it was quite safe and that the only thing standing between me and the experience was my fear. As far as I was concerned that really left me with only one option – jump!!
NEVER!!! NEVER NEVER NEVER.
Dang, Colleen, you are amazing.
Now I want to know what Kevin thought when he saw the video!
Jana, there is a very fine line between amazing and stupid. When I look at that video I find myself wondering, ‘will she jump because I would NEVER do that’…It’s quite surreal because it truly is not something I thought I would do but, when in Rome…
Kevin sent me an email and said he couldn’t believe I did it either. That makes two of us!
OOOO MMMM GGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Colleen I can’t f……g believe you did that!!! I almost had a heart attack myself just watching you on that cliff… You go girl!! What’s next? Swimming with Sharks?
Susie, there IS swimming with sharks here, but thankfully it’s not on our agenda! I can’t believe I did it either. I can barely watch the video myself 🙂
Oh, GOOD for you! Live life to the fullest, say yes to adventure!
Mandy, that is exactly what went through my mind…right after they assured me that no one had ever died (except for one woman who slid on the rocks after it was done. I made sure to walk carefully on my wobbly legs when I was done 🙂
Incredible! They’d have needed a stretcher to carry me away after that swing! Good for you – intrepid traveller!
Michele, they almost did need a stretcher but instead, we went straight from there to some gorge-crossing zip lines! I think I used up all my adrenalin for the year.
I think my favorite part was when he pushed you – I couldn’t believe he actually did!
Sharry. I’d still be standing there if he hadn’t pushed me. He pushed all of us off that cliff.
That is something I’ve never wanted to do, but always thought that if I were going to, it would have to be with a hip harness rather than having the bungee tied to my ankle. Good for you!
Yes Sharry. I swore I’d never go bungee jumping and this seemed like a terrifyingly good second option 🙂 Although my heart still races and my hands get sweaty when I watch the full video.