“In other words, the point isn’t the project itself. The point is to learn as much as we possibly can about ourselves, who we are now, and who we are becoming through the process of accomplishing the task at hand…That’s the only reason for doing anything. It’s just that most of us don’t realize that this is what’s really going on, so we get sucked into the appearance of things…” –excerpted from The Not So Big Life by Sarah Susanka
I have been re-reading The Not So Big Life and remembering again why I enjoyed it so much the first time. I’m also finding a lot of underlined sentences and exclamation marks, reminders to myself to pay attention. After the above quote Susanka goes on to remind me that the concept I’ve excerpted above doesn’t just apply to projects.
It applies to my life. Every single thing I do and every minute that I do it.
Every person/event/experience I encounter is to assist me in learning who I am and what I believe. It is not about the other person or event.
At first glance this looks rather self-absorbed. I’ll grant you that. But in fact, by examining my reactions, stepping back and distancing myself from knee-jerk responses, I am actually doing the world around me a huge favour. Trust me. I really am. You’ll find me much more enjoyable to be around (and I’ll certainly enjoy myself more) when I’m paying attention.
Every thing that happens to me allows me to understand myself more completely and helps me to grow into a better human being. If I quit labelling experiences as good or bad, but simply as events, it allows me the chance to learn and deal with what is actually going on. This is much less stressful than fighting what ‘should’ or ‘should not’ be happening. According to who? Me? Really?
Perhaps this succinct quote sums it up best:
“The trick is to realize that the shit that falls on you is fertilizer. ” – Ron Mangravite
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Thank you for finding my blog and sharing it with your followers, Colleen. This is a great article – I feel very honored to be associated.
Best wishes,
Sarah.
Thanks Sarah. My pleasure! It was fun to find your blog and see all our common themes 🙂
Love this post, Colleen. Thank you, kindred spirit, for finding words to share that seem to come from my thoughts. “Labelling experiences as good, or bad” – yes, why would I need to choose? I love all my experiences for what they are worth – and responding without stress is GREAT for my environment. Keep up the blogging, gal! I read them all.
Bless you Karen…It really is freeing to be able to consider things free of labels. Yesterday, my massage therapist asked me where the ‘pain’ was and I told her I’d prefer to refer to those spots as ‘sensations’ 🙂 I think the word pain somehow invests me in the experience. I find everything more approachable without a big sticker telling me how I should feel about it. Thanks again for reading.
This is in line with my reading and thinking right now too..must be something in the water!
The book that’s become my “Bible” on the subject is Katrina Kenison’s Magical Journey, An Apprenticeship in Contentment. I’ve dog-eared or underlined something on practically every page. I wrote more about the book here: http://allthingsgirl.com/2013/02/atg-review-magical-journey-an-apprenticeship-in-contentment/
Becca, this sounds fabulous. I know that you and I seem to love the same books, so if you say it’s ‘on the list’ then it’s on mine too! Thanks for the recommendation!
This reminds me of a phrase by Jean-Paul Sartre, the French 20th century existentialist who said “You are what you become.”
Thank you for that Catherine. It’s true. And we become what we focus choose to focus on…kind of like riding a motorcycle. You have to look at where you want to go NOT at what you want to avoid.
Thanks, Colleen, for writing about this book. I’ve read her Not So Big House books, but I hadn’t seen this one. I’ll be getting it.
Hey Sharry…I just love the way she relates our homes and our lives in real tangible ways. I love her clear language and great examples. I am looking forward to spending some time on her website too…
Oh you are a wise woman. Love this post. It always amazes me how i am processing this stuff (in this case due to a road trip with the steps&kids this past weekend) and then voila, you write about it!
Barb, I just think we must occupy the same bandwith of some sort of uber-consciousness or something 🙂 It is rather strange how we are so often on the same page with this stuff…