Sometimes life has a wonderful way of delivering what you need.
Or as Mick said,
“You might not get what you want, but you just might find…you get what you need.”
I know too many friends who have been going full tilt, only to have their bodies start screaming in a way that stops them in their tracks.
Literally, metaphorically, figuratively…you can throw a few ‘ly’ words at the situation, but what it all boils down to is that though the mind will continually tell us that we can do more, more, more (!), the truth is that less IS more.
The body tells the truth of what we are so good at denying.
OK. I’ll quit talking about these friends.
Let’s bring it on home. It would seem that this has happened to me a few times as well. And each time I promise to listen to my body and treat it like the true friend it is instead of some horse I’m flogging to the finish line.
I’m happy to report that I think I’m getting better at this. I haven’t exactly nailed the whole process but I’m banking on awareness as the first step.
I have discovered a few things have helped me on this quest for a more anxiety-free life:
1.) Walking, especially while talking to a good friend. Pricesless stuff.
2.) Meditation, because it makes me realize how much time there really is in 30 minutes!
3.) Long baths, preferably combined with the above meditation.
4.) Scheduling less, focusing on whoever I’m with as much of my attention as possible; active listening.
5.) Really, really and truly looking at the world around me. Paying focused attention. (This alone has helped slow down the number of times I was whacking off the ends of my fingers. Seriously, it was getting a bit silly).
6.) Fun. Outdoors. Gratitude.
7.) Tech-free Sundays. Like all of the above statements, I fail at this one too. But that brings me to the last point, which really is the summation of everything listed here…
8.) Being kind to myself. How can I show compassion to others if I’m always beating myself up? It all starts at home and home doesn’t get much closer than moi.
So when I miss the mark on any of these things…I give myself a little talk, just like I would to a friend that I care about:
That’s okay, Colleen. Maybe you need a cup of tea and a nap. Then later, you can get up and try again.
This, of course, can look suspiciously like crazy lady behaviour – especially if said aloud (which often happens) but…OH WELL.
Maybe by the time I’m ready to leave this mortal realm, I just might have it figured out. Than again, maybe not.
But it won’t be for lack of trying (BUT) with as little effort as possible.
Hi Colleen. I find walking exhilirating and enjoyable. Walking gives you a chance to enjoy the weather, get to know your neighbourhood or, if you are travelling, see a new place. I believe and practise tech-free Sundays and last but certainly not least be kind to yourself, showing compassion and justice to others and all living creatures in the animals’ kingdom. C’est moi.
Thanks Catherine. Walking really is the ultimate ‘slow life’ pace that is probably the right speed for our bodies and minds, that are being otherwise assaulted, barraged and innudated with the zippy speed of modern life. Sounds like you’ve figured it out.
‘Compassion and justice to others and all living creatures’ is a perfect summation.
Thanks for your wise words. We have been working at “unplugging” on Sundays as well. Funny how things come full circle in our lives; there always was some rationale for the old fashioned values of “respecting the Sabbath” that i was too pigheaded to understand in my younger years…..
Barb, isn’t it the truth? All I’ve done, with my unplugged Sundays, is come right back to the way I was raised (albeit with a few differences!)
It’s hardly a new concept and is practised in most religions and cultures. So when did it become a good idea to be on, available, productive, connected and wired-in every minute of the day? Time to take our lives.
Thanks for sharing this Colleen!
I struggle with these things a lot and like you, need to remember to give myself as much encouragement, and slack, as I do others. I recently “threw out” my back putting in too many hours at work (at a desk) and not taking care of my mind and body enough.
One thing I found has helped me, which I would never have guessed, is taking more photos. Since I started carrying a camera in my pocket virtually 24/7 (in the form of my iPhone) I see the world around me differently and stop to appreciate it and photograph it much more often.
I’m inspired by your “tech-free Sunday” attempts. I’m far from there but it’s a good goal! 🙂
Take care,
M
Welcome Margot.
I completely agree on the photography aspect. I do the same thing, either with my iPhone or with my camera; it helps me to focus on the overwhelming beauty everywhere I look. It’s quite incredible when you start seeing the world this way.
I’d really encourage (if not the entire day, at least a big chunk of time on a day that works with your schedule) to unplug. The first few Sundays almost made me (and Kevin) crazy. I didn’t know what to do without the constant stimuli. It was rather frightening to behold my thought patterns on the matter.
But now I really relish my Sundays. I’m allowed to read, nap, walk or do anything fun but there is no cleaning, no errands, no Internet. Nada. By the time Monday rolls around, I feel like I’m really ready to roll and, since my goal is to be completely honest here, I’m also dying to get back on the computer!
And not the least, it helps me to define the week somewhat. This is not an easy feat for someone who has no 9-5 M-F schedule.
Though it’s not foolproof because today I posted a note on FaceBook that said, “Happy Friday!” Hmmm…turns out it’s Thursday today. Oh well…