There is no doubt about the pumpkin effect; the very real lunch-bag let-down moment of facing one’s neglected housework after the Queen-like treatment of a luxury hotel stay.

I have recently experienced the utopic heights and despairing depths of just that kind of pumpkiny-thing.

As all good drugs do, it started off with the euphoric high when we checked in to The Metropolitan Hotel in Vancouver. It was a girlfriend getaway plan for a little off-Coast luxury and it all went swimmingly well.

But the stark reality of my true life slapped me in the face when I faced my shower at home.  I realized that if I was staying anywhere else in the world, and opened the shower stall door to such unhospital-like surfaces, I’d quickly be donning my flip-flops before I dared set one foot inside. How sad is that?

It seems that hotels have staff for these kinds of things, and I…do not.

Which is just one more reason why I loved our stay in our temporary city digs. It was so indulgent to come back after our evening out, to find not only the beds turned down, but our toiletries set out like an operating tray of utensils on a crisp white towel. Did I mention I’d like invisible staff like that at home? If I say please again, will something magical happen?

But more importantly than my need for staff, we need to talk about dinner.  We sat up at the Diva restaurant bar where we could watch the kitchen wizards in action. We both opted for the Savour BC dinner and then proceeded to be wowed and wooed by the tastes and presentations of precision plating.

We added our own extra first-course of Shigoku oysters from the Sunshine Coast. It seemed rather ironic to be having Sunshine Coast oysters while we were deliberately staying Off-Coast, but paired with a flute of effervescent Cava, it convinced us that we were being quite brilliant.

We both ordered the rare-seared Pemberton beef flank with Granville Island sake, chili, lime juice that was paired with a glass of Joie Farm Rose 2010. I think kudos should be in order that we both saved the kitchen staff the need to wash our plates. Just call us selfless.

Karen dug into the potato-crusted wild BC salmon with glazed fava beans, fennel and a red wine reduction. Her meal was paired with Poplar Grove Chardonnay 2008.  She returned another plate that would not be in need of a rinse.

I decided to see what they would do with a vegetarian dish of olive oil poached Kelowna summer squash, quinoa, charred Langley vegetables, and tomatoe fondue enhanced with a fat glass of Ruby Tuesday Viognier 2010.  I do believe that if I could add one of the chefs to my wish list of housekeeping staff, and said chef would cook up veggies like that platter of gardeny goodness, well ya know what? I just might convert to vegetarian on the spot (as long as I could always start with the aforementioned rare-seared beef flank).

We ordered identical desserts and tried to savour them as long as possible because it was such an intense strawberry experience. There was a delicate pink mousse squiggled around our plates, topped with Abbotsford glasshouse, organic fresh strawberries combined with some dried slices of strawberry that made me wonder if they’d put something else in our drinks, because with each bite, I wanted to sport John Lennon glasses and felt a huge compulsion to hum  Strawberry Fields Forever.

The wine pairing of Quail’s Gate fortified Foch 2008 made me think of angels crying on my tongue & I’m pretty sure I caught the shiny coloured edges of some psychedelic swirls out of the corner of my eye. I swear I could have floated through a field of daisies afterward, if such a field had presented itself.

Then again? Maybe I shouldn’t have ordered the extra glass of the Quail’s Gate in lieu of the cappuccino. But it was SO good.

We watched each of the men and women in the kitchen as they worked with an obvious passion for perfection. They collaborated to create an ephemeral art piece that was soon returned to the back sinks; just another plate smeared with leftovers.

Like all things in life, it was another example of the fleeting impermanence of beauty. But oh! such beautiful and fleeting wonder for those of us on the receiving end of their creations.

I guess what I really want to say here? Go to Diva @ The Met. Belly up to the bar to watch the chefs in action. Order the Savour BC Menu with local wine pairings. Be prepared to swoon. Be prepared to write your own ode to the Diva.

But remember…you still have to go home and clean your sink.