To procrastinate properly, one must make each avoidance task look extremely pressing. For example, it is imperative that I clean the guest bathroom – with a toothbrush in fact – this very morning.
I must also walk very fast up and down the stairs with some of my summer cycling gear that has been piled in my closet. And it absolutely must be stored in the basement with the rest of the summer gear. Ditto for some clothes that should be donated to St. Mary’s. And all of it must happen now.
The guest cabin must be power-vacuumed today. Never mind that no one will be using it for about five more months. Never mind that my hands froze into claws from the zero degree temperatures.
All laundry must be done before I can begin to think about anything else. I’m also thinking that the stove knobs are looking a little dodgy.
Hmmmm…And why today?
To be fair, Mondays are when I do most of my cleaning, but the real reason for the in-depth cleanliness-is-next-to-godliness approach, is that today my instructor from the Humber School for Writers sent me an email saying we’re ready to start.
And what, Mr. David Bergen asked, would be my preferred method of working? On-line, snail mail or attachments and would I please forthwith submit the first part of my manuscript? Okay. He didn’t use forthwith in the sentence. He was very polite and kind and encouraging but he still made the request for that manuscript ‘thing’.
That thing that I’ve been using Christmas to avoid? That thing that I said I would wait until I had some heavenly direction before I looked at it again? That thing that morphs from brilliance into a stupid bunch of meaningless ramblings? Mr. Bergen, did you mean that particular thing??
You can see why the house must be spic and span before I pull that mess up.
You can see why a girl would need to get working on her blog ASAP.
And look at that. It’s 12:29 pm here on the West Coast. Surely, one needs to prepare a healthy and nutritious lunch before one could possibly begin looking at that thing. Surely.
I’m thinking that this is going to be a very long seven months.
We could start a PA group, but I’m sure there are a million other things we should be doing instead!
Exactly. Shouldn’t my spices all be alphabetized first?
How did it go? Did you send it? Or did you need to go out at once and buy another toothbrush because the first one had worn down 🙂
I’ve seen your writing (as you know) and I can’t believe he’s going to be harsh or anything other than pleased and helpful… but there is nothing so vulnerable is there. You are brave to sign up with this – so what if it takes a little procrastinating to get there? I think that’s allowed! (Plus, clean house bonus 🙂 )
Still haven’t sent anything. Finally decided I’ll send him a chunk of each version and see what he thinks. Poor man…But you’re right. The house is looking pretty shiny, the tree is down, books are shelved and the sink is sparkling 🙂
That sounds sooooo familiar…. I just have to get everything in order before I sit down and start my studies, but wait, I was going to make some calls, send some emails, walk the dogs, do some laundry, make some buns, take out the garbage, get the mail, go on the treadmill, because of course that is healthy! I hope tomorrow I actually get down to it! There must be a class on procrastination, hmm maybe there is an online one! I better check that out before I get started! Good Luck Colleen!!! 🙂
Ha. Nice to have company.
Maybe we could start PA? Procrastinators Annonymous.
Or maybe there’s a 12-step program out there already??
I’ll check on that while you check out that class 🙂
That’s so exciting that he’s your instructor. This is going to be the thing that gets your book done!
Now, please come over and wash my bathroom with a toothbrush.
I just want to assure you that this is not the spare toothbrush that I leave out for guests or anything like that. And please, please be right that this is the thing that gets this done.