This was on display at the Titan Missile Museum. This Arizona museum is built around the silo that houses one of the 54 Titan ll missile complexes that were on active alert throughout the Cold War. They were all deactivated by 1987 and this one was preserved as a museum to let visitors have a close look at how it all worked. The missile we saw there had been equipped with a nine-megaton thermonuclear warhead. It would have reached its top secret target (somewhere in the former Soviet Union…doyathink?) in less than 30 minutes. The idea being that the Soviet Union needed to know that if they launched a nuclear attack on the U.S., the U.S. would launch one on them. So. Let me get this straight. Soviets kill U.S., but U.S immediately launches to kill Soviets. We all win cuz we’re all dead. This was called MAD. I’m not making this up. It stood for Mutually Assured Destruction. I really hope they were being ironic, but part of me is not too sure.

Chuck Penson, the articulate guide for our tour, explained that to understand the warhead capabilities, you would have to imagine a 1200 mile train stuffed with TNT…all of that is what was contained in the nosecone of each missile. I really didn’t want to imagine that but it’s rather a strong visual.

I was feeling pretty good about them all being decommissioned until he told us about the current 450 installations in the U.S., all of which are equipped with three nuclear warheads each. Oh, and don’t forget the nuclear submarines and their capabilities. Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, non?

But don’t worry. I picked up a handy little guide. It is a “restored archival reproduction of an original 1950 U.S. Government booklet”. It is called, Survival Under Atomic Attack. On page 24, we have this section called,

What about protecting yourself from lingering radioactivity?

“…do what you can to keep from being showered by radioactive waste materials…cover yourself..sheets of newspaper might help, but a raincoat would be better.” And further on, “It is important that all radioactive materials be removed as soon as possible from your body…you won’t need special cleaning compounds. Warm water and soap are ideal.”

Well, there ya go. Easy Peasy. Thank you government for those helpful guidelines.

On a happier note, since it’s all completely beyond my control anyways, I think I’d prefer to focus on this gorgeous cactus flower. What else can you do?